Hiking the Y

34 years ago my Uncle was badly burned while he was repairing a car, he spent many weeks in a burn unit. This was all before I was born and by the time I could really notice the scars they had faded some. So to me that is just always how he has been, he doesn't have severe facial scarring but his neck and arms have scars. he also has scars from where they took grafts from his legs to put on his arms. He has always made a joke about his grafted skin, he would say if you pulled the hair on his knuckle it would hurt on his thigh because that is where the skin was originally from.

I often think about how challenging that time must have been for everyone involved. How amazing people are cultivated from heartache, pain and suffering.

My Uncle recently turned 60. In the last year he survived Quadruple bypass surgery cutting of part of a finger and moved into the same ward as the inspirational NieNie. He knows her story and even met her at church and was able to show her his scars. I hope that she was able to find some hope in the fact that things will get better with time.

Well while celebrating his Birthday it was mentioned that they were going to hike the Y Monday after dinner. My Uncle said "If Stephanie can do it, I can too" My girls had been asking to hike it as well so we decided to go along with my cousin and her kids.

My Uncle took things slow and steady, he didn't stop to rest often he just kept on trucking, He did an amazing job, it wasn't easy for him. But he never complained, he never wanted to give up, he just kept going one step at a time. He made it to the top.

After a couple switchbacks I was huffing and puffing. Eventually I made it to the top, but it wasn't easy and I was embarrassed. I like to blame things on my awful ankles because its easy and doesn't make me feel so bad. But the truth of it is, I let myself go and now I am paying for it.



Well no more. I decided that hiking the Y was my kick of to a new me. A healthy me. I have started to change my diet, and I currently play Softball once a week with friends. I am hoping to start walking progressing to running. I just need to take it slow and not over kill or I will give up.



So here it goes folks.. my public confession of laziness, and the "trail head" to my adventure to a new me one step at a time.

Bailey's First Day of Kindergarten

My sweet little "Pickle Princess" started Kindergarten today, she was so excited and told me in the car that she would be brave and always do her best.
I didn't even cry!

FIRST GRADE!

My lovely little Laira started her first full day of school today. I am so proud of her, she is so excited to get back to school and learn. Laira has such a sweet spirit and a tender heart.

She is also a poser!

PS, thanks Grandma and Jess for the super cute first day of school outfit!

Ye Haw!

We went to the Utah County Fair last night, it was alot of fun, the kids had a great time. We started out with the carnival rides. The kids had were excited to ride anything they could. Bryce, Matt, Laura and I went on this spinning ride and laughed till we cried. When it was over I was sure I was going to lose my dinner but I held up nicely, but felt sick most of the night.

Notice Bailey's super fake smile, Matt had one just like it when he was her age, I really hope we can get her to smile real before Kindergarten Pictures.

After the rides we walked around and looked at some of the animal buildings. We then made our way to the Rodeo arena, The girls are obsessed with horses right now so they loved every bit of it. We had cotton candy that made the girls a sticky mess, but who cares, we were at a Rodeo.

I tried to gets some pictures of the teams as they rode the bucking bronco's, there are a few good ones and a few blurry but pretty cool looking ones. I haven't quite mastered the action shot with my camera.

taking control

There are days when I feel like I am never going to make it. The depression and loneliness feel like they will swallow me whole. I spend those days crying and yelling. Today has been one of those days.

I decided to mow the lawn, it was getting pretty long. And our favorite mower Taylor has moved so now one of us has to do it so I thought might as well be me. So I got out my iPod and started mowing, it flowed through a few songs that I don't remember and then, a song from a long lost CD that I imported the other day came on. Now I am not one who totally loves all of Michael McLean's music ( I think some of it is far too cheesy) But when his song "you're not alone" came flowing out of my iPod I couldn't help but cry. I re-set the play list to play the whole album, hearing things I so needed to hear. Kicking myself for rationalizing my attendance at church yesterday and staying home. There is a line in that song that says "and when you cry, you're just letting go of heartache deep inside" and honestly after spending that time mowing and crying I am feeling much better.

I am always telling my bestest friend ever to try and focus on the things that she can control and not the things that she can't. Today I am trying to take my own advice. As easy as it has been to slip into darkness and let it over come me I am taking control. I am the one in charge of my own happiness. I am the one who chooses how to react to bad or hard things.

I find it alot easier to be happy when I surround my self with things that uplift and encourage good things. I am so thankful that Mindy has been my companion via my CD player and iTunes the last couple of months. Mindy was always full of sunshine and smiles in High School I am so happy that I can find the same thing in her amazing Music. I have also been reading an amazing book called "The Continuous Atonement" by Brad Wilcox I suggest it to everyone!

So this is my pledge to take control of my happiness!