500 Days of Summer

I just finished watching the movie '500 Days of Summer'

I think I would have liked it more if I wasn't able to so easily identify with the male character. He believes, in the beginning of the movie all about true love, soul mates and all the sugar and spice that goes with it. As his 'relationship' fails he evolves into the cynical person who doesn't believe in much of anything any more. He finally take the steps to try and move on, but was still finding him self held up by memories and thoughts of her. Forever changed by the experience he continues to question his belief in love. But he kept moving, trying, living.

Having walked this path before, sadly more than once, it was nice to know that I am at the crest of my climb to independence and acceptance of my life the way that it is. That I know that there will still be twists and turns and bumps in the road but HOPEFULLY life gets easier from here on out.

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I want to apologize to those of you who read my blog. I am sure its not that exciting and doesn't really offer anything of value. But it does give me a place where I can get my thoughts and feelings out. And if you are so willing your feedback (which is most welcome)

I read somewhere about the plethora of blogs out there that are nothing but fluff. I may be a fluff blog, but its my blog and its a place where I can be me and not worry about it. Or try not to anyways.

Thanks to those who read, and thanks to those who comment. It's nice to know that there are people there who support and care about what I think and say.

Love Songs

I am in bed, my iPod is streaming quiet melodies in my ears. I do this sometimes to unwind from a hard day. Tonight is no different, except I was stuck with an overwhelming urge to write. So now here I am, unwinding in another sense.

I love music. I have a quote in my Journal that says:

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
-Berthold Auerbach

There are days that I just have to hear certain things to get me through the day, I have my favorites that I could listen to every day and others that I get a hankering for every once in a while. I love music, another quote that I've come across is Music is what feelings sound like. I loved that, because I have always felt that music can convey things that words alone can't always do.

A few minutes ago my iPod shuffled to a Jason Mraz song. As I listened to the words of this love song I was struck, more like punched by my abrupt realization of loneliness. I listen to these love songs and I just crave someone to love. I am overflowing with this love that I just want to give to someone. Its not the kind of love that I can give to my parents, siblings, children or friends. Its a special kind, that is just waiting, fermenting its self to greatness. But alas, there is no one to give this greatness to. I am going to continue to be patient and prayerful.

In Gods time, not mine.

So for now I will go on listening to all the love songs, adding favorites to my list, and waiting for my someone to sing them to, and share my love with.

Get a life week- Day 1

Sunday afternoon the girls and I had a talk about our "Get a life week" they were still both excited. We decided to make a list of all the things we could do instead of watching TV. The girls had fun with it and seemed excited to come up with possibilities. With our list in hand we were resolved to do our best to refrain from TV and video games.



Monday morning greeted us by me waking Laira up and realizing she was burning up. Most of you that know me well know that Bailey is the one who gets sick, not Laira. We often tease her that she has super immunities cause she never seems to get sick. Well today she wasn't feeling well. She had a low grade fever, and a lot of congestion. I told her she was going to have to stay home from school until we found out for sure what she had. I had to leave for school but let her know we would be going to the Doctor later that day. She was home most of the day, and she got bored.

Well long story short. The girls watched some TV today. Do I feel bad? yes, cause they wanted to badly to do it. BUT we didn't watch anything for the rest of the day, so we decided to start again. We are going to do the best we can.

I was challenged, I accepted. Now I offer you the same challenge.

It is going to be hard, yes.. but oh so worth it. I've talked to the girls about it and so far they seem to be in, but I don't think they quite get it. We are going to review tonight before we go to bed. The other difficulty we could run into is that Xander is probably not going to join our challenge and therefore there will be TV on ... a lot..... So I am going to have to give them both some leeway on that.

ANYWAYS! Please join us, and I am sure you will surprise yourself with what you can accomplish and also your creativity in entertaining yourself and your children.

GOOD LUCK!

Brain Dump

Its been a while since I have done a "brain dump" post, this is where I dump a bunch of things that are floating around in my head out on my blog. There really isn't a point to it other than hopefully getting it out of my head.

I recently read a blog that talked about other peoples blogs, how some of them are full of faux perfection, some are full of fluff and some have real thought provoking themes. I would like to think that mine is one of the latter but I truly fear that it is a fluff blog, Full of nonsense that doesn't mean anything to anyone. Does it make me wonder about my posts, you betcha. Should I really care what others thing about my blog? Probably not. But lets face it, people care what others think.

My 'birdie' finger hurts. Yesterday I was shutting the back of my Jeep and the nail snapped down into the pink part of my nail. I tried to put a band aid on it so it could grow out enough to clip it off with out it hurting but that wasn't going to work. So I clipped it off, sorta. it still has a little flap of that really sensitive skin and I forget it hurts and then use it for something and then it throbs for a while..... that is all about that.

Today is my ex-husbands 30th Birthday.

Girls Craft Night, this is a new addition to my Thursday nights and I have to say I LOVE IT! I love being able to hang out and talk with the Ladies that I am lucky enough to call my friends, while completing various projects. I love getting to know each of them better and having a chance to get out of the house.

Thanksgiving is stressing me out.

I love helping at the school. I have been able to go help our Librarian and others on the PTA accomplish tasks. And I have really enjoyed getting to spend time with old friends I don't get to see near enough and have been able to meet new people.

I am in DIRE need to a visit to my wonderful friend and HAIR GENIUS Emily. I am really hoping to get in there soon. I am ready for something new with my hair, and even though I know she wants to chop it all off I trust her and know she will help me feel great about my hair no matter what I chose to do with it.

Well that is it for this edition of Brain Dump. Join us next time when we will talk about more things that float around in Denae's head.

Halloween

The school had a Costume Parade. So I went and took some pictures of the girls. Bailey's class stopped at the end and so I ran over and snatched a picture of her. But Laira's class zoomed right though the gym, and she wouldn't even look at me.



Yesterday we had a long and full day. We went Trick or Treating in down town Provo with most of my local cousins. Its something we've done for a long time and the kids enjoy it. After we were done there they went with their Dad and went Trick or Treating some more, he brought them back and we went around our block and then to a friends house to relax and enjoy some good company. Laira was still running on high gear, but Bailey was ready to crash. So we came home and went to bed. All in all it was a great day, the girls had a blast and have enough candy to last until next Halloween.