Anticipation

This morning I was able to shoot a whirlwind Engagement session. It was mostly a whirlwind because it was starting to rain and the rain progressed as the session went on. We got maybe 15 shots but we were wet and cold and so we decided to give in to the rain. We decided to schedule another shoot if they didn't find one of the 15 that they liked. I was happy to take the pictures. Photography is one thing that I enjoy a lot. I use to hate shooting Engagements and Weddings. I was always jealous of the love shared between the couples and often resented them. "why can't I still have that" was something I asked my self often. I was stuck in a rut of self pity.
Today though I was able to let up and have fun. I was happy for my friend and so glad that she was happy. I looked at their interactions and told my self. "I can't wait to find that" so today I am filled with anticipation. Its been a long 4 years and although I am content with my life now there is still a big piece missing. I know life will be that much more enjoyable when that missing piece is found.

Now there is a new "prospect"! I have had a hand full of relationships in the last 4 years. Some were local some were long distance but they all were lacking. Things are very different now, this guy (we shall call him "prospect" for the time being) has been a friend for some time. Although I think he is painfully shy there is alot of potential for alot more. We spent some time the other night talking about watching baseball and that I don't like to do it. He spent alot of time telling me that there is alot more going on than I think. He said " Do you think if I taught you more about baseball you would like to watch it more?" I said sure and my first baseball lesson started. He went on to teach me a few of the intricate things that were happening, but not too much so he didn't overwhelm me. When I correctly identified a curve ball my heart leapt when he said "I am SO proud of you" I left that night with a standing invitation to come over anytime and the garage code (a coveted thing apparently) although there are some mysteries I need to crack such as the way he will invite me to come sit on the couch and I do and he will get up and sit on the floor leaving me on the couch alone. Or the way he can never sit still long, He is always getting up and walking around or leaving the room. those things perplex me, so I don't know if he is scared of me or just can't sit still.

I would just like to mention that I HATE dating. I hate always worrying about everything! This is kind of a random post of random thoughts!