HS leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth for a lot of reasons. The most prominent is regret. There are a lot of things I never did in HS that I wish I had. I really wish I hadn't taken it for granted and payed more attention to my grades and other things that could have helped get me further in my career. I always wanted to do more things. I wish I would have played Softball, Basketball and Cheer leading. I wish that I would have been more outgoing instead of so shy and self conscious. I would have taken more Science and History classes. I would have taken anything taught by Mr. Webb.
I don't remember a lot about HS. Its all pretty hazy. there are specific things that I can recall and that will help pull other random things to the front of my mind. I have been thinking about school a lot. Having reconnected with so many former classmates a lot of things from those years have been seeping into my thoughts. One of the things that I really wish that I didn't have to pause to think about is every time I get a friend request from someone I haven't seen in years is I always stop and wonder. "how did I treat you in High School" I wish I could say that I didn't get wrapped up in the drama, that I didn't take part in the stereotypes and teasing. and truely there are some people that I can't remember how I treated them. Granted if I was mean to someone surely they haven't forgotten . I can still remember the time in Jr. High when Robby Reynolds came up to me and said "roses are red, Violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back" It makes me laugh now but at the time it really bothered me. And I am sure there are things that I have done that have bothered and hurt others. I know that Freshman year in PE during the Soccer unit something happened and I called Leah Trammell a Bitch. I am sure it was un-called for but the damage was done and I don't know that I will ever be able to tell her I am sorry.
I was a social butterfly in HS. I didn't really have a clique. I had friends in most all of the groups. I enjoyed getting to know a lot of people. the only down fall to that is that I never really had a lot of really close Friends. the buddy buddy kind of friends that always did stuff together. There where phases I went through when I had some Friends for a long period of time and then for one reason or another we would all drift apart and move on. The only exception to that is those who were in my ward and we were 'forced' to associate with each other during all the church activities.
I would hope that I can help my girls act better than I did. And I hope that if there are those who are reading this that I have offended, Please accept my deepest apologies.
8 comments:
I agree 100%. I have felt exactly like that (with the exception of the Leah and Robby thing...although I'm sure someone caled me flat at some point...) :)
Ug...that was me...my hubby was still logged in...I hate it when that happens
I mean that I wrote the first comment...whatever...it's late...
yeah I know what you mean! I always hope I didn't hurt anybody's feelings or anything in high school. High school is hard because kids that age are just so naturally self centered.
You never hurt my feelings though! :) I hope you can say the same for me! :)
High school and drama....ugh. I think we all do stupid things when we are young...and I just hope beyond hope that as we grow up we all forgive each other for our lack in judgement and childish behavior.
I know I did some really dumb things...and hurt feelings...and created drama. But you have turned into a wonderful person. I can't imagine being hurt or offended by you. I'm sure the same is true for all those around you.
My issue was not the involvement in high school, but boys. I was interested in boys and I was always the best "bud". Being involved in sports, clubs, student government and such only reinforced the 'friend' thing. Later on I come to find out though that some of these boys had crushes on me, if only I had known earlier . . . sheesh!
I had a close group of friends but I never really tried staying tied to one click. Being involved is what made me a "click". I was target and labeled into the groups I was in.
I'm sure we all have offended others in high school or have been offended in some way as well. We were all going through our 'growing' up stage without really knowing how to do it yet. At least for me that was the case. Given we were all in the same boat, we can all relate that if we were 'ahem stupid' then others were too and to just let it go.
High school. It's just that, high school.
I totally know what you mean!!! I have felt exactly like that so many times. (Especially when Alida called me flat in 8th grade... true story). But there are so many people that I didn't like for whatever reason in high school and I see them now and they are such awesome people that it makes me feel bad I didn't try harder to get to know the real them back then.
But you were always a sweetheart to me!!!!
Something that's really nice about growing up is that we are able to let go of the pretensions we had in high school.
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